Because I just ate a bowl of fireside chili and have got some major gas!

Thump-i-ty Dump-i-ty sat on a wall,
Bragging and Boasting and Scrying to all,
The End Is Here, he stated as fact,
But then got all humbled and had to take it back.

I'd have killed him if I believed him; that kind of trauma is something you have to prepare for, I think, and if nothing happened afterward, I'd be absolutely furious.

i saw someone driving this morning in a car painted with bible verses and espousing yesterdays rapture, i so wanted to hit their car just to make fun of them when exchanging insurance information

I tried encouraging my wife to call a girlfriend of hers we know to have a threesome ;)

LOL, um, hmmm. i was going to mention something about the mischief Harold Camping could get into if he started trying to decipher the "Book of Names", but i couldn't track down a reference to it to make sure that i was naming it correctly.

but i did run across a reference to "Urim and Thummim" being used by ancient Jewish High Priests to divinate who was a sinner. so is Einstein correct when he stated that "God does not play dice with the universe", because it sounds to me like somebody sure as heck was playing with the dice.