MAD DUI Statistics - Earth Empires Forum

Dibs Ludicrous

Member
6702

Apr 6th 2013, 17:31:16

so, let's see. i sold back my car around 7/11. 7/11 being a month and year, not a convenient place to get brain freeze. we're currently at April of 2013. so, that's about 1 and 3/4 years that I've been walking or riding the unicycle to go buy more booze after drinking 200ml. me and my lack of auto insurance have had to pay out $0 for damages due to the 100% accident free status that I'm currently enjoying because I'm not in any pain due to an alcohol related crash. Fee Fi Foe Fum, MADD members are just plain dumb.

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Dibs Ludicrous

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6702

Apr 6th 2013, 17:35:18

oh, and i bought 375ml after riding the 1.2 miles while under the influence of 200ml. 400ml makes me really uncoordinated. so, I'll probably have to get banned sometime in the next 3 hours just so's i don't have to bust my face in an attempt to buy more booze.

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Dibs Ludicrous

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6702

Apr 6th 2013, 17:50:12

how i calculate the statistics anyway? 1.75 years of being able to ride a unicycle while under the influence divided by infinity? so, that's like a 0% chance that I'll get into an accident while riding a unicycle? i need more stats. how many idiots get away with riding unicycles while under the influence?

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Dibs Ludicrous

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Apr 6th 2013, 18:06:32

so, i have a 1.75 year sampling and i want to extrapolate the possibility of having an accident over the next 25 years based on that sampling. what equations do i use?

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braden

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11,480

Apr 7th 2013, 3:49:23

200ml? of what booze, for fluffs sake, straight liquor, one hundred and ninety proof?

Dibs Ludicrous

Member
6702

Apr 7th 2013, 10:06:11

brandy. think it's 40%.

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braden

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Apr 7th 2013, 13:58:03

ohh, brandy, what class! i never realized you were a character from a jane austen novel

Dibs Ludicrous

Member
6702

Apr 8th 2013, 18:20:08

class? jane Austen? i just like the buzz and the flavor when it's mixed in my coffee. and yippee! it's spring. i get to break a sweat and don't have to worry about my ears freezing off while I'm riding my silly unicycle.

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chem20

Member
624

Apr 8th 2013, 18:35:51

Cerberus

Member

EE Patron
3849

Apr 12th 2013, 7:16:46

As for how many idiots can ride a unicycle accident free for 1.75 years, I'd wager on just one. YOU!

As for drinking, Brandy is a girls drink, like Green Apple Martinis.

Real men drink Beer, not that American crap which is like making love in a canoe (fluffing close to water). But REAL Beer.

Or, they drink Rum, Bacardi 151 is good.
Or, they might drink a nice Scotch or Bourbon.

Never Brandy.

I don't need anger management, people need to stop pissing me off!

Dibs Ludicrous

Member
6702

Apr 12th 2013, 7:45:20

just me? why wouldn't i lose the manual coordination required to ride the unicycle?

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braden

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Apr 12th 2013, 13:41:07

because you drank your brandy in the west pianoforte room, and by the time Jeeves brought you your unicycle you'd sobered up from your teenaged girls drink?

;)

Dibs Ludicrous

Member
6702

Apr 12th 2013, 13:55:55

lol. i have 2 rooms in my apartment. a summer room and a winter room. no Jeeves. didn't know that brandy was a teenage girlie drink. you shouldn't have told me that. might decide to improve my sex life by standing on the porch with a bottle and yelling "Here, Girlie, Girlie, Soooouuuiieee!"

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braden

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Apr 12th 2013, 13:59:29

hey, i drink wine, i am in no position to speak i guess

Dibs Ludicrous

Member
6702

Apr 12th 2013, 14:29:36

wine is the blood of Christ and it's self-replicating under certain conditions.

people could tell me it's a fairytale, but i looked up levitation recently, and it would seem that they consider it to be possible and probable.

Edited By: Dibs Ludicrous on Apr 12th 2013, 14:34:13
See Original Post

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Dibs Ludicrous

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Apr 21st 2013, 20:59:55

oops, i did it again. got on the unicycle and rode around 1.4 miles to go buy more booze after drinking 200ml of brandy in 2 hours. encountered not 1, but 2 police occifers, and there will probably be a Facebook item for the day because i encountered some relatives. wonder if any professor type peoples perjured themselves about the effects of alcohol....

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Cerberus

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Apr 21st 2013, 21:51:34

Dibs, there was a guy I played with a long time ago that used to have the sig "That's what I like about those high school girls, they just stay the same age, while I get a little older". LOL

You post about standing on your porch with bottle would work around here with all the trailer trash. LOL

I don't need anger management, people need to stop pissing me off!

Dibs Ludicrous

Member
6702

Apr 21st 2013, 21:56:50

LOL, i had a Zappa song about Catholic Girls stuck in my head for about two years simply because i got drunk and fell out of an oak tree.

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Dibs Ludicrous

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May 4th 2013, 0:15:08

post drunk driving. can't post drunk riding on a unicycle. need better thumbskillz.

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Dibs Ludicrous

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6702

May 4th 2013, 0:26:38

maybe i was just tired after 2.6 miles on the unicycle while under the influence. oh well. better luck next time. i did at least logon and start trying to type a post before i had to safely dismount. don't drink, text and drive while chewing bubble gum.

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Cannon

Member
355

May 4th 2013, 20:20:54

What the hell is even going on here?

Dibs Ludicrous

Member
6702

May 4th 2013, 21:46:21

you mean besides me going bonkers?

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Marshal

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May 4th 2013, 22:16:47

*wonders why dibs isn't arrssted*

Patience: Yep, I'm with ELK and Marshal.

ELKronos: Patty is more hairy.

Gallery: K at least I am to my expectations now.

LadyGrizz boobies is fine

NOW3P: Morwen is a much harsher mistress than boredom....

Dibs Ludicrous

Member
6702

May 4th 2013, 23:09:18

probably because i drink in private and can ride a unicycle if i need more booze.

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w1a9c8k5

Member
158

May 6th 2013, 3:13:04

I never drink and drive.....If I can help it

Dibs Ludicrous

Member
6702

May 8th 2013, 8:50:55

don't drink in places that you can't walk home from. and try to remember to walk in the right direction.

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Dibs Ludicrous

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May 10th 2013, 17:55:26

3 hours to consume 200ml of brandy... ride 1.2 miles on the unicycle while under that level of inebriation without falling off or running over a squirrel... should check my tire for caterpillar guts... forgot to look out for them. where's my spelling and grammar checker? i wants to write me a nasty email to all those mad mothers(crazy emotional beotches).

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Dibs Ludicrous

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6702

May 10th 2013, 19:46:09

Dear Dumbass fluffs,

i drank enough liquid courage to give you a piece of my mind and overcome the hypnotizing effect of your double mammography glands, even though most of you are too fat to have decent boobies anyways. sober people still kill 60% of everybody that was dumb enough to get killed in an accident. dang drunks can't even kill people better than sober fluffheads.

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braden

Member
11,480

May 11th 2013, 1:19:15

in three hours i consumed two litres of 12.5% wine

i have no idea what percent of alcohol brandy is, i don't wear a manacle, myself, so.. (two litres is two thousand mililitres, in case you were confused)

(its funny, because it doesn't further explain, hah, i'm clever)

sirbossplaya

Member
22

Jun 1st 2013, 1:38:12

not bad

Drunken Dibs

Member
467

Jun 19th 2013, 19:48:59

hmm, you'd think that the mods would know enough about alcohol consumption to realize that i don't blackout everytime that i drink. i seem to be missing a few posts here. not that i particularly care. wobder uf that Russian pron that was posted on the LoF forums is worth a few more bugs on my Windows Phone.

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Drunken Dibs

Member
467

Jun 19th 2013, 20:55:02

oh, add another 1.2 mile trips to my crazy successfully done 200ml of booze drunken unicycle riding trips. so, let's see, I've failed 100% of the time over the past two years to get involved in a fatal drink riding unicycle accident. didn't even bust up my knees that were lacking the essential padding to keep them from getting busted up. maybe third year stats will m
show something different. not good for me to know that i can ride the unicycle while under the influence. mught accidently get run over by a sober driver.

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Drunken Dibs

Member
467

Jun 30th 2013, 23:43:43

add a 2.6 mile trip after drinking 200ml of brandy to my under the influence unicycle riding nonsense. you'd think some crazy teting idiot would have at least skinned my knees by now. they don't eactly go out of their way to avoid running over drunken unicycle riders.

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Drunken Dibs

Member
467

Jul 2nd 2013, 21:31:09

i won't be riding the unicycle under the influence today even though i have booze. well, i won't be riding it after 200ml of booze. unless i can't find the other bottle that i bought.

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Drunken Dibs

Member
467

Jul 10th 2013, 22:20:39

dang. almost had another 2.6 miles on the unicycle while under the influence of 200 ml. had to dismount to stop for a red light though. that sucks.

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Grizzly

Member
48

Jul 11th 2013, 1:38:04

Why do you ride a unicycle? There are more efficient means of transportation available. Think about it.

Drunken Dibs

Member
467

Jul 11th 2013, 9:09:23

hehe. when you say more efficient, are you talking about better ways to employ my muscles, or using some kinda external source of power to move me through the air faster? i ride the unicycle because it's easy to carry home when the crap hits the fan.

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Drunken Dibs

Member
467

Jul 11th 2013, 10:04:05

plus it might come in handy when i have to beat somebody's misbehaving dog to death. i'm not all that fond of carrying identifyable weapons in public. it might intimidate some idiots. yeah, but i don't have a clue how it should be spelt at this time. fairly certain that the y needs to go.

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Drunken Dibs

Member
467

Jul 11th 2013, 10:19:51

hmmm, they might've quit banning me. probably means that they've decided to collect evidence to use against me in a court of law. dang. that would mean that *jm on trial and *jm means that i didn't use my xbox chatpad correctly. not exactly sure how "I'm" got translated into "*jm". though i do think that *jm does look more sexy. star jam. meh. i ain't going to clean that up.

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archaic

Member
7011

Aug 21st 2013, 12:25:04

The most amazing thing is how many more posts Marshal has made then Dibs and much less entertainment he has provided.

Dibs = EE's leading premium content provider

Cheating Mod Hall of Shame: Dark Morbid, Turtle Crawler, Sov

Marshal

Member
32,589

Aug 21st 2013, 19:26:02

i don't post random ramblings like dibs.

hmmm

New Member
8

Aug 22nd 2013, 20:53:11

it's only random if life is random.

Quit trying to ban Dibs you morons.

hmmm

New Member
8

Aug 22nd 2013, 20:55:57

speaking of random, it's probably about that time of day when they randomly try to keep Dibs from posting ever again. plus i need to go attempt to get my Royal Flush in Texas Hold'em so i can ends that game.

Quit trying to ban Dibs you morons.

Marshal

Member
32,589

Aug 22nd 2013, 21:32:57

you have tried that for months i think.