This is my waffle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My waffle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My waffle, without me, is useless. Without my waffle, I am useless. I must eat my waffle in full. I must consume it faster than my enemy who is trying to steal my waffle. I must eat it before he eats it. I will...

My waffle and myself know that what counts in this war is not who eats whom, the noise of our bellies, nor the farts we make. We know that it is the consumation of waffles that count. We will consume...

My waffle is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its taste, its appearance, its smell and its square pattern. I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my mouth, my teeth, my toungue and my throat against damage. I will keep my waffle clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

Before the waffle-God, I swear this creed. My waffle and myself are the guards against my hunger. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life. So be it, until victory is mine and there is no waffle, but in my tummy!

gahhh now i want waffles!

The deadliest weapon in the world is an iMager and his waffle. It is your consumer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in the feast. Your waffle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that eats. If your consumer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not eat. You will become hungry iMagers and then you will be in a world of fluff because iMagers are not allowed to starve without permission. Do you skinnies understand?

I have chosen to serve in the restaurant. The restaurant depends on my performance for her survival, and I accept the challenge to eat a lot of waffles, placing my restaurant's well-being above self interest.

I will be loyal to my waffles, its ingredients and accessories, and to my tablemates.

I will be honest in my personal and professional life and encourage my tablemates to do the same.

I will, to the best of my ability, eat waffles for the sake of eating waffles, and I am prepared to face pain or the death of my tummy.

I will be a professional, wearing my uniform with pride and accepting responsibility for the consumption of waffles.

I will set excellence as my standard and always strive for ways to make myself a more fat restaurant visitor and my tummy a bigger tummy.

Recognizing that I volunteered as a consumer of waffles, fully knowing the hazards of my chosen profession, I will always endeavor to uphold the prestige, honor, and high esprit de waffles of my table.

Acknowledging the fact that a waffle is a more tastier food who arrives at the cutting edge of my mouth by spoon, fork, or directly from the plate, I accept the fact that as a waffle consumer my restaurant expects me to eat further, faster and chew harder than any other restaurant visitor.

Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight and I will shoulder more than my share of the task however many waffles it may be, one-hundred-percent and then some.

Gallantly will I show the world that I am a specially selected and well-trained waffle consumer. My courtesy to waiters, neatness of dress and care of my fork shall set the example for others to follow.

Energetically will I meet the heaps of waffles. I shall defeat them on the field of plates for I am better trained and will eat with all my might. Surrender is not a restaurant word. I will never leave a fallen comrade to fall into his plate of waffles and under no circumstances will I ever embarrass my table.

Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to eat on to the table's objective and complete the mission though I be the lone survivor.

I should probably do something with my sunday now. I wonder if I have the ingredients to make some tasty waffles...

I have been living off the waffles of others,
how would somebody like me get his own waffle to love?