I did this last year and it was funny. Stories, jokes, yelling about shopping, decorating, your strange traditions etc!

As for me bah humbug! Hoe Hoe No!!!

I decorated so much last year Galleri saw Martha Stewart and Paula Dean leaving my house lol I REFUSE to do it again.

Also I understand some people really struggle during the holidays. Not just financially but just mentally. Losses leave kind of a gap for many.

we have put up the Christmas tree on Dec. 24 just because we had company coming. We almost never get it put up before the 15th of Dec.

Wait. December 24th? Is that kinda late or just tradition? Studies show people who put their Christmas stuff up early are happier people as the endorphins and dopamine levels skyrocket. Maybe that explains why so many people around here are crab asses lol

(Yes the study exists. Actually, multiple studies)

In'murica you can put up the tree anytime you want

Suicidal I’m curious as to what tradition you celebrate? I imagine you with a huge chain saw heading into the woods with you old dog Bo and cutting down a 12 foot tree. Decorating it with ordainments of naked ladies. And dinner massive with you catching a wild boar with a homemade trap. Smoke billowing up from the fireplace.

Am I close

My secret santa for this year is Sui

you feeling ok....? sounds like you lost it

I lost it along time ago. This shouldn’t shock you.

Only proper way to take a tree down is 12ga 3 or 3.5in 00buckshot. This is Murica!

Tannerite baby!

I have a pretty good Xmas story.

The year was 1999, a group of friends and I were in high school, and we all had a mutual Mormon friend.

Being idiots, we were pretty ignorant on anything to do with Mormons or their religion. So, we thought that they didn't celebrate Christmas. Being the good friends we were, we decided to do something about it.

December 15th - Our Mormon friend leaves with his family to visit their family in Utah. They will return on December 24th.

December 17th - We get together, just a few of us. Decided that our neighbors had way too many decorations. So, we borrowed a few here and a few there. We did this for the next couple hours over I would say a 5-mile radius. And we decorated our deprived Mormon friend's house. We got done around 2AM or so and felt pretty good about spreading holiday cheer.

December 18th - Wake up pretty late in the morning. Drive out to see the house during the day. ALL decorations were missing. We sneak around the yard, and we notice they are all inside. Left feeling extremely confused and decided that they must have had someone check on the house to make sure it was fine while they were out. Evening comes around and we all meet up again. Discuss the issue at hand. Came to the conclusion that the ONLY way to have our poor deprived heathen Mormon friend get a Christmas is to wait until the evening of Dec 23rd and do it again.

December 19th-22nd - Plans made. Areas of greatest overwhelming ratio of decorations per house reconned.

December 23rd - We reach out to a few more people. We have about 12 people involved at this point. All in 4x vehicles. We start at roughly 11PM. The new area is about a 25-mile radius. We finish at about 4AM. We brought extension cords, power strips, rope, tape, etc. Let's just say, when we were done decorating this house you could see it from space it was so damn bright.

December 24th - Sleep in. Feel good about our good deed done. Message our Mormon buddy over AOL IM (like what is that?) and ask him about his vacation. His response, and I will never forget it to this day. "I know what you did. Never speak of it again". I respond to him. "haha. What do you mean?" He doesn't respond. I relay this message to all other participants.

December 25th - December 26th - We fluff bricks. Don't hear from our buddy at all. It has gone radio silent.

December 27th - I get a phone call from one of the other "culprits". "DUDE TURN ON THE NEWS". There it was. "LARGEST CHRISTMAS HEIST IN (CITY WE LIVED IN) HISTORY". The piece was great. Here is a little snippet:

Old man "Why would anyone do this?"
White mom "Is this what Christmas has come to now?"
Old black lady "You know how long it took for me to find a black Jesus that lights up?"
Little girl "I just want my Santa back" *CRIES*
Reporter "The detective is on the case. But if you are missing anything please call this number (###) ### - ####"

December 28th-January 2nd - We all pretty much fluff bricks. Some of us had turned 18 that year (not me thankfully). Didn't know what we were going to do. Stayed inside. None of us spoke to each other. Figured our Mormon friend was going to rat us all out. Some of us, who had GF's, tried to get some before a life in prison started. I personally was denied because my GF at the time wanted to wait until we were married. HA. This is what I get for being a good Christian boy spreading the spirit of Christmas.

January 3rd - Return to school. We all meet up during lunch. Mormon buddy comes up smiling. "What's up guys? Did you hear?". We responded "WTF you talking about. Our life is over just because your parents hate you and don't give you presents". He responds "No man. 1st off, we do celebrate Christmas but that is a different story. Two chicks got pinned on the robbery. They arrested them over the weekend". Our response "YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!"

Conclusion and clarifications.

1. Yes. I do now know that Mormons DO celebrate Christmas. But I grew up a middle child in SoCal. I skateboarded, smoked weed & failed to get laid more than a handful of times until HS was over. Give me a break on Mormon history.

2. This is a 100% true story. I didn't sample it in any way from the internet. My buddy's mom still has the newspaper article.

3. The (2) girls who got caught, though were innocent of the big heist, had stolen decorations and kept them in their garage. They lived with their Grandma and their Grandma saw the news story and ratted them out. I do not know what happened to them. Probably ruined their lives. But pretty hilarious.

4. We technically never "stole" anything. We really only relocated items. And to our knowledge most of the items that were relocated had been returned to their rightful owner. At least that is how I sleep at night thinking of it.

5. Yes. I do expect to have my decorations stolen or destroyed at some point in my life. No. I will not be upset.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! HOPE YOU ENJOYED A PAGE OUT OF MY LIFE.

confused as to what happened to all the "borrowed" decorations. The mormon's family still holding it all?

I should maybe have clarified the quoted.

"Reporter "The detective is on the case. But if you are missing anything please call this number (###) ### - ####"

The police took all of the decorations to the local police station. I think the news article said it took like 4 swat vans and a few cruisers a couple trips. Basically, if you got your items relocated, you could call and describe it and they would do their best to match it up.

I remember the black Jesus too. The damn thing's head kept falling off.

With all the antisemites feeling emboldened by the Israel war, a lot of Jews are afraid to put up their menorahs this year. I built a big fluffin holder to place in front of our window, with platforms at two different levels so I and my kids can display ours in the window and be clearly visible from the main road from any angle.

Oh my lol this story is funny. Something I woulda done. I did something similar in high school as we all chipped in and bought cases of toilet paper and during election time we too “borrowed” every election sign in Ohio it seemed. Put those all over the high school front drive. Hung some girls bra above the entrance and took fertilizer and burned our graduation year in the grass in huge numbers lol the school resource officer was on regular duty that Sunday, he was one of my tae-kwon-do instructed. He rolled through, looked at me, the big spectacle and as I was preparing to be taken to my mom and charged, he said “Doug, you’re gay I know you didn’t get that bra, I didn’t see a thing!” and left. He was an old vet ready to retire. lol

But that story is crazy!

Our decorations are up. We celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah. Colin is Jewish I’m not. So we do both! His family even approves. I live in the country surrounded by THOSE people and I dare them to come start fluff. Police car in driveway should warn them on private I don’t fire warning shots. But I hear you! If I don’t see you sundown Thursday Chag Sameach.

Ps. Colin didn’t start the war nor is he in the war, so to hell with the local racist. We have a mixed marriage lol so a Jewish/Lutheran holiday season it is! 🎅🏼🕎

Regardless of what you believe or which side, the hate and death needs to end.

Happy Hanukkah BEM and all who celebrate! 🕎

#ChagSameach

Christmas and Thanksgiving should be at least 6 months apart. It's insane to see these people again so soon. Absurd.

Agreed

Hey Bem and others here who observe. Happy last day of Hanukkah Friday sundown my friend. (Yes I’m still have Jewish lol)
Chag Hanukkah Sameach! 🕎

After I get done decorating one of the bars I start decorating another and my home never gets any love. I feel like my Mulled Wine game definitely peaked this year and I enjoy the seasonal beverages this time of the year most. As a professional alcoholic, I’m a fan of the season.

I don’t live with family tho so we all leave for the holidays so it makes a bit of sense that way. Sucks they scheduled an Eagles game for Christmas Day this year tho. I’m gonna open around 2pm or so and probably just close after the game. Bummed I’ll be behind a bar instead of with my nieces and nephews either way tho. First year without Grandma on their mom’s side, so I’m kinda bummed they’ll only have 1 grandparent and no Aunts or Uncles around.

I’m not Mormon or anything but I kind of wish ZEN would decorate my house for me. Sounds like the labor is cheap.

Yeah, the holidays are hard on a lot of us as we get older it seems grandparents pass away aunts and uncles. It’s just rough you try to remember and it seems like it still hurts and you don’t have that spirit of decorating and all that there’s a lot of people around here that have lost people and at work we get very busy because it’s just the suicide rate just goes up. It’s terrible on the other hand for those of us that still have mothers and fathers, cousins and ants Celebrating the holidays is a special thing but I always try to remember those people that don’t have that anymore and sometimes I wish I could help him out a little bit more and it’s tough though you’re right

So I’m not officially back to work. But today was shop with cops for Christmas. We take kids in need shopping for things they need, clothing or school supplies and a toy. This little 8 year old boy was mine. I asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he replied “if you could help bring my daddy home, I wouldn’t ever ask for anything else my whole life.” His dad was shot last year in one of our worse neighborhoods.

I've got nothing......I mean.....well......this one time in Argentina (I was 15)

For Christmas we would always gather in the country with family at my grandma's sister's farm and we enjoyed 2 weeks of celebration having cookouts, pool parties (summer down there) soccer matches, best two weeks every year, and back in the suburbs where I lived we had a park where we went to play soccer every day and weekends during school year, so there was this plazero (park keeper) that was an asshole, and didn't let us play peacefully, he would always harass us saying that it isn't safe, you're killing the grass and hurting trees, you're too loud and people complain, all bullfluff except the grass part, well mostly dirt lol, of course we ignored him then when he would leave we get back to playing.....

Well it got worse after he decided that one summer he'd bring his 18 year old to work with him so he can come harass us and make physical threats, so that December (1992) we decided to blow his shack up using #5 (most explosive fireworks you can purchase legally at that time) they weren't cheap so we started to raise money and got enough to buy 4 of those......we strapped them together and one guy in our group that didn't have to leave town for holidays was in charge of the operation.....

Weeks went by and excitement grew, the day came, our guy completed the mission......my brother and another kid from our group who is also relatives to my relatives was with us, so we would spend time together at the family reunion every year, we of course didn't know what or if it took place while we were out but you know being kids we used our imagination on how it went down lol....

Got back to San Isidro (our city) on January 2nd or 3rd, can't remember exactly, that afternoon my brother, me and Gabriel (the other kid from our group that was with us at the reunion) got together in the evening, went to the park to check out if anything had happened.....and when we got to the center of the park where the shack was (we didn't make it obvious, we dressed dark clothes since it was getting dark and we spread out hiding behind trees making our way to the scene) ..... We saw, and we split! Got out of there in a hurry, when we got back to our block we started running laughing our asses off, got to Gabi's house and we were rolling on the floor laughing,......

The door blew inward and caught things on fire inside the shack, devastated it......

Next day we had lunch, left to get our group together at about 1pm as usual and went from house to house picking up our homies to go play a tournament we had been invited to by the river (2 kilometer walk) on the way there we talked about what happened, everyone laughing mocking the plazero and his tough guy son and what their reactions would have looked like lol, well when we were getting home that evening we noticed shouting coming from Gabi's house and there was the plazero, his son, other moms .....lol they almost killed the plazero and his tough guy son because as far as our mothers were concerned....we didn't have anything to do with it because we were all out of town.....

Cops did get involved but no evidence that it was us, so they couldn't do fluff LOL few days later after the tournament was over and went back to playing at the park, we didn't see the plazero for few weeks, then one day he shows up, he was pissed, he knew it was us and he knew we knew we did it, so he proceeded to let us have our space, only play here, don't go outside this area, deal? We said yeah sure deal......never to be harassed again LOL

Moral of this story? I don't know LOL in some countries violence pays off if you can get away with it 😁

I hope you enjoyed it, brought back great memories to write this out from my youth as I lay in my hospital bed detoxing from methotrexate infusion 😁

Merry Christmas, happy whatever you celebrate and prosperous New Year everyone!

i flushed the elf on the shelf down the toilet and laughed while the kids cried themselves to sleep for two weeks.

Wow koh lol

This thread was weird, sweet, and felonious all in a short time lol

Yeah well like I stated on the DayZ server discord few days ago when someone asked why people are heartless in the game, my reply was "The majority of the gamers are teenagers and teenagers are assholes by nature"

This is a win!!!



I have a story for you all about how KoH tricked me into buying DayZ and he isn't even on the one I can play.......

Merry Christmahanzakwanika!

Hope you all got something nice for Christmas. I did! My family. A little more special this year.

True story 🤣

Coming from I have no doubt it’s true lol