This forum needed some freshness and despite my personal life not being as entertaining as usual as I get older, and folks like sui continuously saying I don’t matter at all, I decided it’s time to drop another personal bomb to see if people still talk here.

So there I was, in the liquor store picking up somewhere in the ballpark of $4,000 in liquor and lugging it with a hand truck down the block to one of my bars meandering the bums and elderly. And there she was, Beetlejuice hair and wild style. I thought I’d met this person before because they were shockingly memorable. And perhaps memory has always served me best.

I thought she might be the girl I’d seen before wearing Cleveland Browns gear in my bar. And I thought for a moment to be like “Cleveland Browns chickkkk…..dude, I was rooting for you guyssss!”

Anyways, I thought better of it because I wasn’t sure it was Cleveland Browns girl, but she saw me looking at her. I saw her see me seeing her and I was flustered. I said “fluff” under my breath, felt stupid, and started hand trucking boxes down the road.

I proceeded to yell at myself in the basement of the oldest city in America for not saying at least “Hello” when we locked eyes as I grunted countless bottles into caged shelves. If she ever walks in my bar again I’m gonna have to eat the turtle in my mouth and tell her, “sorry I kinda stared at you in the liquor store that one time. I wasn’t sure if I should say hello or something and I’m a stupid dummy.”

So I go upstairs and, having been awkward at least a couple dozen thousand times in my life, hop behind the bar forgetting how weird I feel being alive, put on a ball cap and some fake charisma, and started giving people that sauce. Dapping regulars, playing hot tracks from the 80s and commenting on basketball while I crack some Millers, pour some drafts and shots, and enjoy some stories, true or not.

Roughly an hour later, in she walks, comes directly up to your boy and says, “Hey dude. I saw you looking at me in the liquor store. I’ve kinda been in your bar before and mad crushed on you. Here’s my number but I’m going to The Galapagos for two weeks so I won’t be around. Text me in two weeks.” And then she left.

Folks I was BAMBOOZLED! Who even vacations in The Galapagos? Where even is that? Isn’t that where Darwin was? What is this strange context…?

So I waited for two weeks…..

…..

……

I didn’t have a single day where I didn’t think of a question I had. I knew she’d be back on Saturday so I knew I’d text her something witty on Sunday but that’s where I was sure I wasn’t as brave as her. So I said, “So…how is Darwin doing? I need pics.” God I wish I had wit when I need it.

And folks, this gal is, after spending the last week with her, the absolute girl of my dreams. She’s a prolific artist, a washtub bassist and an actual dream come true of a person to spend time with. I consider myself the luckiest man alive these past few days or maybe weeks…..

My tax liability was also exactly $1. My salary offset my tip work and ol Uncle Sam said “$1 but you better pay it.” I guess better that than calling me “Boss” or “Big Guy” and asking me for a cigarette. America needs my routing number for $1 when we are trillions in debt? This is the most complicated crack head I've ever seen.

How has 2024 been for y’all so far?

TL:DR

But seriously, congrats. 🥰 Love Wins!

haha that is awesome my man, happy for you Derrick!

TL;DR

was there some sort squid games in the galapagos with komodo dragons?

Happy you are happy :-)

Hasn't been bad so far, First big event of the year last night, bands, plus fireworks which was fun, and then we have the WWE here in less than 3 weeks time, followed by Pink, then into the Aussie Rules footy season.

Weird flex but ok

He said P!nk yay!!!!

hope it works out.

Good on ya!

You give hope to the rest of the Old Guy world!!!

love is only a thought

but really hard to forget

Just for you dougy ;)

Pics or it didnt happen. lol

There I fixed it for you.

Excellent news ! :D

we're all expecting an invite ofc ;-)

Can I be the flower girl Derrick?

He dropped that story to never come back.....

Your already a flower girl Doug

Galapagos belongs to Ecuador.

Galapagos is a hot spot.

I meant to Irish Goodbye you guys this way but came back because I wanted to see people be happy for me and give Empy pics. We’ll see, Empy. Just bet on her being very beautiful.

I want to be back in 2025 but I I’m betting against myself y’all. I think this is it. I might pop in here and there but I think my chips are cashed.

I want y’all to know I’m actually sad about this fact and know it’s primarily based on the direction of the game, but it’s just not piquing my curiosity at all and I think it’s time I spent time dating the girl of my dreams as I approach 40. I think it’s been a good run and I’ll retire with better defends per death than dragon and better netting numbers on every server I netted than Gerdler, but no one will put me top ten on anything because I was problematic.

Again. Good run y’all. I got nothing but love for my friends here. I’ll come back and say I love you, but I think I’ve played my last turn. Thanks for the memories.

If anyone wants to stay in touch I’m at and I run several bars in Philly. I’m a very public person and I’m easy to find in the world despite not being on social media. Hope 2025 recks here! God bless y’all. You’ve always been important to me.

-sniffle- our babies grown up and leaving. just before playing for us too. lol

welp. best of luck and don’t fire that barback before I visit. Philly isn’t far from my aunts house. hope I get my 6% police discount.

Bye Derrick all the best dude!!!

LOL– what an exit. Good luck man :D

Id say this. I said the same thing in 2009.
Married with two kids later...
Here I am.....finishing my first full set on 1a and starting my second back on teams.

They all come back.
Enjoy her.
Send me pics so I can vicariously live through you after 10 years of marriage and children. lol.

Also...best of luck and have fun! Love is all there is.

Lol req. Fax are fax if you don’t do any research at all lol. I think my 580 defends per death is like 3rd or 4th all time. Drags is like 920 tho lol. Man nearly doubled me hahaha. I just wanted to see if anyone was like fluff no you’re not lol. Way to call it haha.

Shoot me an email empy. I’ll send you pics.

I don't frequent the boards too often but you've always struck me as a person who could be reasoned with and one who had mostly balanced views of both sides.

A loss for the community but wishing you all the best in chasing this exciting new chapter of your life.

Derrick has been trying to quit this game for the last 20 years. I’m sure we’ll see him back around the block again pretty soon.

2 things to note here:
Derrick doesn't know geography.
Derrick seems to think the rest of us are all single.

3
Derrick thinks a girl he just met is the love of his life

when he gets dumped, Derrick will be back here

edit: I don't want to sound selfish but I hope he comes back here :)

Pffft gal. I’m sure you’ve looked it up by now but if I said “where’s Galapagos” I’m like 10,000% sure you wouldn’t say “off the coast of Ecuador.” I’m fluffin certain of it.

And I think I’m past the dumping part of my life. We’re both liberals who don’t want children so after roe v wade was overturned she got a tubal ligation and I got a vasectomy. Obviously didn’t know each other at the time, but we both made the responsible decision when the Supreme Court got set back 200 years.

She dates other guys. I’ve been with multiple partners from shows and fluff since I met her. I don’t think we break up or break in even. We exist only with the reason to appreciate each other. I don’t think either of us wants to be married or have children during a global climate crisis. Just aim to have a great companion for the end times.

The 9ers are playing the chiefs and no one cares, and then Biden will face trump and I’ll probably kill myself. Year is trash.

3 tho….I did meet the girl of my dreams absolutely. I really haven’t even been smoking weed, and not because she frowns on it or something, we’ve smoked a few times, but I think she’s very inspirational to me having good habits and I’d like to stay motivated around her.

I used to like laying in bed, getting high as fluff, and farming bots like crazy while never leaving my bedroom. While I could wall 1200 hits in a good set and win teams or FFA, I think it was always an unhealthy lifestyle/experience.

It was never good for me, and I think the way I acted here is probably indicative of that. All my decisions are my own tho. I just hope she loves me back, but I’ll never be that level of unmotivated stoner again, and this is simply a positive lifestyle change in my path to finding happiness in a world that has always made me want to kill myself. I think I’m just finally ready to be healthy, fit and using my talents for good.

Edit: That’s not an apology btw. Sui can still go take his one usable arm and go fluff his own permanently flaccid fluff.

Sniffle… I don’t get a personalized goodbye message from Derrick. I think I’m sad.

Douuuuug. Doouuuuuuuug.

Is that better?

You were always the 2nd best person to hold another man’s penis in your hand to ever play the game. No one can take that from you.

Also, the crew you have is unmistakably a lot of people who have changed names and stuff to be honest and cool playing with you. You’re easily the best leader currently in this game, and the only reason I’d considered staying is if I played with you. Stay classy bud.

Also, coalie deserves a personalized message more than you, Doug. Lol. That’s my rock lol.

Coalie, I’m never gonna play with people I don’t like again. We did the thing and I mean it, it’s the last time I ever pop into a chat with some folks. I’ve always been a clean player who looks to surround themself with thinkers and lovers. That’s why I like you. I never needed any of the haters, cheaters, narcissists or bigots, and I never had them before I stopped leading. Sometimes realizing the dudes in STONES might be the most wholesome experience in friendship whether or not you win the war might be winning other aspects of your life. This is a 30 year old community, and perhaps the friendships at this point are the most important part. Don’t forget it, and don’t be afraid to tell everyone acting like an asshole that they’re acting like an asshole no matter whose side they’re on. I expect you to carry that torch.

Jesus Christ man. Youre doomed. A lib pothead finding love in an "open" relationship, useful idiot parroting agendas, all while plagued with rotting balls. I cant argue for or against the decision, but do try to be creative at least. Being a liberal you are no doubt an organ donor, so be mindful of your methods. Thank you for doing your part in ridding the world of another worthless carbon footprint. Aim true and best of luck.

This has to be the most cucked thing I have ever read. Is this serious or is he trolling?

Keep letting your lady date other guys and chopping off your gonads I’m sure that will make her stay around. You need to go hang out with some hood gang members for a year or two and toughen up my boy. They will bully you until you quit acting like a woman. Ahh yes the good old hood. Gotta love em. They certainly don’t tolerate the goofy stuff

Errr maahhhh gaaawwwd someone is different from me!!! WAHHHH!

Y’all stupid fluffs wouldn’t dare walk into my neighborhood and I know some trans people that absolutely will beat your ass. Believe it or not, everyone different from you is not the same.

Planets overpopulated and believing your children will somehow be worthwhile against the trillions of people on this planet is your own undoing. At least your collective egos can be stroked by having a chip off the old piece of plywood you call tolerance. Just don’t do so many whip its on that riverboat gambling trip in Biloxi Mississippi that you lose the son of a fluff. “HOW MUCH WILL YOU GIVE ME FOR THE BOY!?” A world with people like you in it doesn’t deserve my offspring, and a community with people like you in it doesn’t deserve my presence. Have fun in your echo chamber here you old ignorant whites.

The other side of the planet (China/india) is overly populated.

North American side has lots of empty land. People just love to cram into tight spots like Toronto and Vancouver in Canada and New York, LA and whatever other highly populated cities you yanks have.

On the no kids thing, it’s essentially only the white folk choosing not to have kids while the brown (Arab/indian/other side of the world) people pop out 4-12 kids per women.

Caucasians gonna be a small world population in 60-80 years at their birth rates.

You all need a cool dictator like Nayib Bukele to fix your countries and yourselves!

Wait, the love of your life dates other men? Did I read this correctly?

A theory to explain the fertility-intelligence relationship is that while income and IQ are positively correlated, income is also in itself a fertility factor that correlates inversely with fertility, that is, the higher the incomes, the lower the fertility rates and vice versa. There is thus an inverse correlation between income and fertility within and between nations. The higher the level of education and GDP per capita of a human population, sub-population or social stratum, the fewer children are born. In a 1974 UN population conference in Bucharest, Karan Singh, a former minister of population in India, encapsulated this relationship by stating "Development is the best contraceptive".

Typically IQ, access to education, and income are conversely related to number of children. Its actually most predominant in America amongst black and brown people, whose most brilliant/wealthy have next to no children.

It’s not that they are popping out Muslim babies like rabbits for no reason. A LOT of that has to do with access to income and education. And even in those places, the more elite classes of people tend towards not having children.

good gawd man!! how many times, in a single post, do you have to say you are leaving.....just leave!!
I know you come back for the attention when your only friends are in a War game. I am only posting so you can write another book here that I will not read.

P.S. no one really cares.....we just feel sorry for you

Makes sense. That’s why turd crawler has 5 kids

Hahaha
Ha
Haha
Ha

Pssshhh, like you’ve ever felt sorry for anyone, sui. Don’t lie. We all know the only emotions you feel are vitriol, cynicism and hate you cantankerous old fluff.