You think English is easy?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

you most certainly are able to amend a wrong.

though the point is still well made. the difference between dove and dove, in the sense that the dove dove is the wonderful concept of reading comprehension- or before this, the joy of syntax.

an incredible amount of english is idiomatic- many people who have spoken english their entire lives are incapable of differentiating between or understand what is stated before or to them. english is most certainly a fun language, if you're able to follow the information given. otherwise, it can be confusing as all fluff (interjections also make sentences fun ;p)

why when i order a taxi to twenty fortrose crs, they send the cab to twenty four rose crs.. and then wonder where the fluff I AM!?

wait, english has homonyms?

i think i got this chain email 15 years ago

The Germans have a way of dealing with this. Any proper noun is CAPITALIZED, and if it's a verb usage, it is not.

English is not an easy language to read, but it is easy enough to speak. It's certainly easier to read than Chinese in it's original form rather than the modern phonetic Chinese. Imagine having to have a separate character for each word instead of being able to combine letters to make different words for eash, but that would only apply to the reading of it, not the speaking of it.

I'm sure that similar instances could be come up with for every language given the opportunity to learn enough about said language to identify the idiosyncracies of them.

Why did you fluffing capitalize the verb in your example then CERBERUS? Christ u can ramble the fluff on about nothing.

OH lest we forget * Proper English is verbalized in the U.K. However In Usa they verbalize "American" English which no doubt is mostly slang .... @ Least In the U.K. one can pellucidly understand a sentence the 1st time.

Furthermore:
American English is not my primary language and for the most part I optically discern it as floating between jocose and perplexing, Rarely is it straightforward and in simple.

this is awesome. I used to teach English in Ecuador and did this stuff all the time

Heston, you should just go back to sucking on Trife's ass.

Everyone that thinks cerberus is a retard is apparently friends in his mind.

Some more fluff about nothing....
It only took since may 8th to put together such an articulate well thought out response.

In two years or less i bet cerbs eating his own diaper fluff.

Trife and cerb are hilarious. .
Cerb is kinda nutso