gives me the urge to buy a gun so I'm better able to defend myself from those idiots.

doctors should go back to finding ways to treat people instead of spending their time and effort on "Don't do this. Don't do that."

Doctor: oh noes, you've lived your life the wrong way and now you come to me to clean up a mess that i can't do anything about.
Dibs: Shut the fluff up you whiny bass turd. you damn well get paid enough to deal with it. oh, btw, Doc, what's this form that you wanting me to acknowledge that you might accidentally kill me during treatment? do you have Butterfingers?