You know, once in a while something happens that shakes the very foundations of the world as we know it. So much so that we know that the instant that it happens things will never be the same again. Ours is a game of much history, many players, many clans that have come and gone yet one thing has always endured to be a thorn in the side of those who have persisted with Earth, both 2025 and Empires...

Suiciders.

Now, obviously, if we were to all name a suicider - there'd be a long list of players both current and retired. Accusations would fly and arguments would be rife. One name, however, stands head and shoulders above the rest. One name has meant more to the moniker of "suicider" than any other in recent history.

One man, one powerful man, has rushed to hell and back to bring many unsuspecting netters complete and utter ruin.

Hellrush.

Hellrush of House Slytherin, The First of His Name, King of the Shadows and Loneliness, Warden of The Sneak Attack, The Spider, Bastion of Poor Grammar and Spelling Mistakes, and Keeper of Shaky Logic, hereby declares that there shall be a new clan in town.. one that can unite all of the suiciders under a single banner.. His banner...

The banner of Hellrush's Awesome Crew of Kool Suiciders! (HACKS for short, we might change "Kool" to "Killer" after an internal vote)

The door is open, the welcome mat laid and we've made Salty flavoured Kool Aid for us to down as we toast to a suicidal victory against EVO, Imag, PS, LaF, Monsters, Elders, EVO again, SoF, Mercs and then EVO again. You will know us by our tag, HACKS, and by our Marshal-inspired names like:

> Hellrush hearts Marsha
> Marsh mellows my heart
> Hell thrush in my marshy bits
> That FA guy we all love

Take a look at our criteria for membership - if you think you have what it takes, message me or Hellrush via PM and tell us a dirty secret about yourselves:

1. You must have no more than 3 friends, and only one of them can be IRL
2. You must have played this game long enough to know how to run a country but not so long as to understand why A1 may or may not be hostile to solo players
3. You must wear socks during warchats - I like feet and don't want to be distracted thinking about your wee toesies when we're hitting EVO
4. You must refer to Hellrush as The Right Honourable Hellrush of the HACKS Clan, everyone else must be referred to as Kevin - no exceptions
5. If you're not a fan of the Spice Girls, you're not going to be a member of this clan

HACKS is a place for all of those who listen to "All By Myself" at least once a month just "to get the tears out". We're an egalitarian society ruled by a vicious suicidal dictator and his word is law. Don't come expecting a Top 10 finish, come expecting to make unprovoked hits and ridiculous retal claims. Come with your big girl pants on.

HACKS are coming. HACKS are inevitable.

-------------------

TL;DR - Me and hellrush are starting a suicide squad and our uniforms are going to be purple velvet tracksuits. hellrush will be along to confirm soon.

Alliances not clans

=O

I think some Emo cut my wrist in my sleep band stole your name.

This is kinda funny, what gets me is you put all this time and effort into trolling him.


Where did HellRush touch you? lol

Where he touches everyone.

In my heart. And in my soul.

Hellrush is love. Hellrush is life.

Wanna join us? We’re offering free Whooper Jr coupons and backrubs for the first ten new members.

These backrubs you speak of, do they come with a front rub as well?

Also do you think if I had 2 whooper jr coupons they could make it into a double whooper? I would rather them do it because I do not want to waste bread.

I can't. I just can't.
lol

Is the guy an adult or just a small child?

This guy, Hellrush, the guy trying to buy a Whopper double with 2 coupons that are for Whopper Jr's?

lol abm u qualify
I know u listen to that song on your way to work everyday :D

Dear oh dear LOL

I forgot to add the Jr. I know no one would give you a full size whopper...not for the Jr coupons!

LOL awesome

helltard is my bestie and a total oxymoron.

too bad macdumbass can't play or he would join to helltard's "alliance".

HACKS declares war on Marshal.

Cuz yous a bad FA.

We’re running a new clan tag here, not a Vietnamese massage parlour.

But we’ll talk to the BK managers on your behalf while you sort your own “front rub” in the restaurant toilets.

Fair compromise?

Negative. I am a meat popsicle.

I’ll have you know we are crowdfunding for one of those VPN thingies that Chinese wumao use to get past the Great Firewall so they can post hugely pro-CCP stuff on Twitter whilst avoiding anything to do with Tiananmen Square.

If they can get on Twitter from China, then ol’ Macca can get onto EE from wherever his mom’s basement is.



I’ll kindly ask you to use the application form on our website if you’d like to take up the role as FA for HACKS.

We’ll need references from your last three alliance leaders, an essay of your views on polygamy and a cute pic for our virtual Cutest Clanmate wall.

Actually, in light of the dubiously timed HERO tag announcement from mrcuban, we at HACKS have decided we have our own hashtag too.

#MEGA

MAKE EARTH GAY AGAIN

Means the same thing as HEROs except ours is “Mega” which sounds way better than “Meh-fah”.

Check fluffing mate, mrcuban.

thank you. this is gold.

LOL

bright side on this is that IF he stays tagged he will be easy to find.

I have enjoyed reading this post. Thank you sir!

you're planning to pwn n00bs with your uber 1337 haxors?

Yes so you can call in your allies to do your bidding.

#MEGA

So the forum mods are going to let someone call another person retarded in every post for months without banning them? Ok, although I think doing this over and over again lacks wit, I will say this, marshal, you're a fluffing stupid. You should be the last one to accuse anyone else of that.

cash me ousside, how bow dat?



Yes. We'll drown them in the dandruff of our collective neckbeards.



^ This guy. He gets it.



Gotta love a guy who always has his serious panties on.

You, sir, are not welcome to this pants party. Fun pants only.

Look at his name spelling

He can't, he's blinded by the light.

~ Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night ~

Wednesday Nights are Karaoke Nights at HACKS HQ.

The current reigning champ is Hellrush (obviously). His last performance was Donna Summer's "Love to Love You Baby" which made for a mesmerizing but awkwardly uncomfortable experience.

I think it was the sequinned leotard Hellrush wore that swung it from a spectacular show to something seedy.

I think Marshal thinks he is Marshall too...

Nice, I like karaoke :-)



I wouldn't put it past him....

cause it is true.

I'm retard cause I don't suicide and threaten with suicide unless massive reps are payed? If so then I'm ok with that.



nope.


Despite this thread isn't made by Helltard it could be.

But it isn't, so you suck as an FA, again.

No, the word has nothing to do with suiciding or threatening to suicide. It has to do with your mental disability.

I know we all love having a boner for bashing Marshal.. but this is my attention-seeking thread.

If I wanted a "Let's Make Fun of Marshal" thread - I'd have made one.

I am indeed entertained

QUICK UPDATE: HACKS now has EIGHT members total! A special welcome to all of those who have seen the light and joined us to do God's work.

Now we have to figure out who wears what hat and which unlucky tag will be our first suicide squad victim.

For those of you sitting on the fence, it's not too late to join us. PM me or hellrush now!

Ps. If you're fat, get off of the fence. It's dangerous for you to be up there.

Are you fat shaming me? I need a safe space *looks at galleri*

The safe space is anywhere but up on the fence, fatty.

This is true, on the fence is actually quite painful especially for someone with excess weight. Speaking from experience being on ether side of the fence is better than on the fence, just FYI. :)

Where can I sign up?

Send hellrush a picture of your feet and you’re in.

I cannot carry you then

you are wondering about my mental health but not helltard's and others who get kicks when suiciding against alliances.

weirdo.

So where could members apply?

http://www.looneybin.completelybonkers.com?

You got something against fluffy people????

Www.disney.com

No, I just can't carry him.