Well the war dec on SOL/MERCS might not be true, but declaring war on Jesus is definitely true.

As you all know, we here at ATSucks, the hottest thing to hit AT since a previous and explosive alliance. If you followed the story in our last episode, we were at the part where our heroes had just been unjustly blamed for all of life's problems. Let's continue to this week's episode.

Episode 2 - Cosmic Suck Hole Untrustworthy Spy Eternal

As you all have seen. We exposed the hole so black as a spy. Infiltrating our ranks like the scum he is. Now, am I saying that the clan previously under my leadership known as "xSOLx" had part in this clever ruse? I don't know. But let's check the facts.

1. B-Hole cunningly gets passed our VERY extensive security measures and joins ATS.
2. B-Hole suicides M4D most likely because of sexual inadequacies. Assumably.
3. SOL and MERCS flaunt to all that will listen that they are going to kill ATS. Assumably.
4. In self defense, ATS declares on SOL/MERCS and Jesus himself.
5. B-Hole gets hit with a single NM from Billy Cabot (see news on #510) for appearances only.
6. B-Hole switches sides, makes his own alliance and hits ATS joining his true allegiance once more. Poorly executed i might add.
7. Forces us, who wanted to NOT come out of protection to play turns and COMPLETELY DESTROY his alliance. Like it was bad. There were tears.
8. The heroes come home and are celebrated by the community. Assumably.

Now here we are. Some of us are sick of our country names and we are hoping our fiercest of enemies would do us the favor and kill us once more? We have some new names to try out.

Thanks,

Stay tuned to next week's episode "Cosmic Suck Hole Meets Gary in the Woods. Gets arrested."

CNB
Former Supreme Leader of current clan named "xSOLx" ?
Reads Books

The answer is yes.

I know there were a lot of back and forth messages on this thread that I didn't bother reading. I know, I am really sorry. You ARE important to me and I DO care.

However, that seems like a lot of work and I didn't feel like YOU would appreciate me half-assing it. I wouldn't insult you like that. You might think to yourself, "well if you respect us so much why wouldn't you read it then" and I ask you this. What size shoes do you wear?

Here is the truth.

We thought everyone would have a little more pride with the very offensive name play and would kill us sooner. Instead, we had to accept new members who may have been questionable (we have a VERY strict process for onboarding). We didn't realize that a spy was among them. This spy decided to pick a fight because of a grudge or small genitals. This alliance then killed this spy. We definitely understand why he was killed. However, we protect our own. Which is why we attacked a different alliance. You probably don't see the connection. It is there. Also, we declare war on Mercs, Arrow, MD, Avengers, HAN and Coruscant. Anyone else who would actively hit us. Really trying to not play the rest of the round.

Thanks,
CNB
Current Supreme Leader of Clan Named "xSOLx"

We offer low IQ companionship mostly. Well comparatively to the likes of TC. I even hear he makes the 4th or 5th most money out of the people in the game. WOAHHHHHH. As we are not on his level, we offer asylum to all of the strays. Especially for our boy SF.

I thought I was following along on this thread until TC started posting. My IQ just isn't high enough.

I am a spokesperson for ATS and I want to make sure everyone knows we are a very PEACEFUL alliance. Please do not hit us. That would really be upsetting.

TY
CNB

Timing my return to support this great tag.

Glad to see the galactic suck hole is still around trying to be a troll. If he was better at it, it would be mildly entertaining.

Well it has been a pretty good run, but this is our last adventure. We did what we came here to do. We lived, laughed, made racially inspired jokes (privately), made a lot of money, made children, and one of us drank Truly.

Here is the timeline as I remember it:

• Requiem suicides Chevs and they become buds.
• ZEN and Req, who had man crushes on each other for years reconnect.
• Requiem introduces Chevs to ZEN.
• Chevs, Req and ZEN plan the creation of TheBOMB with two goals in mind; change the way the game is played and have fun in the process.
• Req still had commitments to other alliances, so Chevs and ZEN start solo for the first round.
• Mercs landgrabs Chevs. Chevs and ZEN suicide Tmac in EVO because he is a good dude.
• Everyone hates TheBomb. So far so good.
• Create the insurance policy. Not be poor like Hash.
• Connect with NotaWolf (also known as..... :)) as he is a legend and like minded.
• Pick fights with LaF because they are nerds.
• Being BFF's with Rasp and proclaiming Mercs is our forever FDP.
• Connect with RickyD and Vamps to give LaF an OOP war. Destroy them.
• Hide in other alliances. Get deleted for creating two countries but only playing one of them.
• Taking leadership of clan named "xSOLx". Bringing them to great glory.
• Chevs gets a 30 day ban? Maybe more. Don't remember, but I think he called someone names and they didn't like it.
• Go into hiding, waiting, plotting. Like a cobra, waiting to strike.
• Return to glory after our RM comes back to life. I.E. Jesus of Nazareth
• Slagpit becomes President of TheBomb because he unknowingly was tricked into creating our tag and is elected President.
• Chevs and Slagpit have creative differences on how the game should be played.
• Retire like Tom Brady. At the top.
• Return like Tom Brady after Chevs is re-instated. Still at the top.
• Win everything. Love. Respect. Women. Etc.
• Witness weird game mechanic changes that could have only been suggested by Swedish persons.
• Win more, but with some help from our friends due to the insurance policy. I will not name them if they do not want to be named.
• Man with memory returns and forever bans Chevs. Seemingly debatable reasons, according to some.
• ................

.......today is the day we retire. For many of us, it has run its course. For others, they needed some motivation (like being suicided) in order to come to the same conclusion. So, with that in mind....here is our final video.

Link: https://vimeo.com/932150145

Love you guys.

Salud, Mi Familia.

CNB
Leader of clan named "xSOLx"
We miss you PAUL

P.S: Thank you everyone for supporting our adventure. Whether you were on the good side, bad side, sideline or just oblivious. You played a part, if even a small part.

Cordy - Welcome to the internet? Where kids are 40-year-old men and everyone seems to be hot 18-year-old Asian girls? My favorite part about all of it is the egos. That is what makes it all worth it to me. Just over the top egos. Then to find out they are actually successful, but not THAT successful. It just makes it worth doing again. For the most part, I like to play ego free. Until an ego comes along that is so big, it gives me small satisfactions knowing that they still aren't doing better than some people I know *wink wink*

Karnage - We didn't assign the metric of what is a valid win. LaF assigned that metric. I agree with you. This being ALLIANCE. It should be focused on what an ALLIANCE does as a group. But several of your leaders made this statement. Stating that the only metric is individual metrics, so we are just utilizing that ideology to poke fun.

That means a lot, TC. Especially from the 3rd most successful guy I know that plays this game.

Before we get to the main event. To our biggest fans. This message is for you:

Let me start by saying, we've been done with this for awhile. But unlike you nerds at the Swedish home for the mentally unwell (can't say the "M" word or you get banned.....then told cease and desist). We don't do what we are told to do by our lessers. We could have provided this video to you as requested when the game ended, but we chose not to. Why, you might ask? Because we don't care enough to perform "hard work" and "dedication" involving an archaic game that has been taken over by simps. In addition, the spokesman for the simps brags about being successful in RL. To whom? To people you don't know on a forum that is policed by your "buds"? I hope for your sake you are more successful than us in RL, because wow what an achievement. Good job, buddy. Really just nailing this life.

To our favorite, mod. Welcome to the illegitimate club! Trust me, when I saw it was you I was as happy as if it was my own baby boy. From LaF leader, to mod, to integrity destroyer in just a few sets. What an accomplishment. We at the BOMB solute you.

But back to why we are here. Here it is baby birds. Let papa feed you the content.......

Welcome to the greatest plot of our lives. Welcome to Mission Bombpossible!!

*Queue the lights*

Link: https://vimeo.com/875700316

Dedication goes to the following:

TC, for always being more successful in RL than all of us. I bet all of his RL friends (Santa clause, papa smurf, He-Man and She-ra, and all the hot lesbians) are SO proud of him.

G, such an inspiration to all of us here at the BOMB. Thank you for joining our level of "competition".

EN4, to being number 1. Before you suckled on papa G's utter. JK, insider friend. We love you the most. Thanks for your part.

IKEA - nothing is impossible, thanks to your instructions.

Truly - JK. Only fems like req love this stuff.

HH - while all of these other dedications are sarcastic in nature. This one is not. You're ok with me.

BH - never change my, HC friend. Wear that helmet proudly.

Karn - i dont know. Just feel like you really need this mention in your life. Don't do anything drastic. You really did it. You won, man. No one can ever take that from you.

Thanks,

CNB
Never Going to Be more successful than TC
Free Palastine
Swiftie 4 Life

hahahaha. Justify? We already won when you played OUR game. You're not even in our league, lil fella.

I voted to self-delete, but was out voted. We already won the moment you gave up any integrity you had left to beat us.

(SKIP TO THE BOTTOM IF YOU HAVE NO ATTENTION SPAN)

There is an ancient text-based game still being played beyond that which is understood by non-nerds. It is a game as timeless as the dot com boom and as vast as roughly 50 people. It is a game that has been forgotten by some, ignored by most, and played by 25 Swedes, 24 non-Swedes and 1 Mexican. This is the game called "Earth Empires". Travel to the current status of this game and see the story that unfolds. Welcome to the Bomblight Zone.

Our story begins after a recent change was made to benefit a group of players, known to all as "Swedes" or "Virgins" or "LaF". The change imposes a complete stop to all fighting so that the "Swedes" can bring a true netting competition to the game. One where they have historically been dominant across the board. Earning top 10 spots every round. Having members suicide anyone not a "Virgin" that gets close to beating them. A recent group of ex-LaF players also part of the group known as "Non-Swedes" or "The Good Guys" or "Sweet BOMB BOYS" came to the game and noticed abuse of new players, a disregard for fair play and moderation favoritism. They made a decision, change the game or get banned trying. Fast forward to today, new rules have been put in place. The masses are getting upset, the virgins are winning the battle of game direction.

ACT I
The "Sweet BOMB BOYS" take the networth record. They used every possible trick they knew. Aid. Buyouts. 3rd party support. Doing the grunge work to make the changes the game needs.

The "Virgins" laughed and said, they completely ruined the spirit of the game. They need to FA one person to get the record. They should be ashamed for using such tactics. We "Virgins" shall call it "not legit". Thus, keeping the integrity of the game intact. Everyone bought it. Bold move by the "Swedes".

ACT II
Reports come in that "The Good Guys" are going to take the NW record again. And no one can stop them. No one, unless they go back on everything, they said about how the "Non-Swedes" accomplished the record. No one, unless they completely ruin all of their rounds to beat out 5 guys and a Mexican. But would they? Would they take a big bite of that Hypocritical Pie?! Not the "Swedes" or "Virgins" or "LaF". That would ruin the INTEGRITY OF THE GAME! BUT WAIT, DID THIS GET PLANNED THE WHOLE TIME? Did someone in LaF maybe suggest they do this a little too hard? Is it a mole? Is it possible that "The Good Guys" wanted this to happen? Planned this to happen? Delighted in glee when the bait was taken?

STAY TUNED.......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

NEXT: BEHIND THE SCENES LOOK AT MASTERMINDS AT WORK.......COMING SOON

"MISSION BOMBPOSSIBLE - UBBEN DUBBEN GUBEN MANIPULATION"

Thanks,
CNB
WIN-WIN
INTEGRITY




TLDR: VIRGINS TO EAT HYPOCRITICAL PIE BY DESIGN AND PLANNING OF THE GOOD GUYS. T-MINUS 72 HOURS.

This is called....FORESHADOW

Ready? Here it goes.

Me: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Thanks,
CNB

Great question. What is the point.

so now that my previous post that got deleted is validated.....was the ban really called for?

i had a post actually saying I agree with you b-hole, but SOMEONE deleted it and banned me.

I tried to explain things to you in the beginning (I am also ZEN, if you didnt know), but you take me too seriously. I have zero ego involved in any of this because I don't actually care about any of it. I came back to play because a handful of people I actually enjoy asked me to. Other than that, it is pretty much a zero ROI for me.

The only way I can have fun anymore is to collect salt. I actually don't dislike you and appreciate that you are trying to get into the game as a new player. I think if you caught me 5 years ago, we could have hit it off great. But today you get this version of me. Whatever points you have made in the past about me, absolutely true. I play to make life hard for a few individuals in the game. I post to do the same. I could care less if anyone loves or hates me. I don't care about anyone's opinion. I will twist whatever words I can to make things funny for me.

So, this is the only honestly you are going to get out of me. The rest is going to be a fluff fest.

So suck it, lap dog and enjoy my presence. You are lucky to even have me here.

I take issue with #7, you POS.

And with Doug not being able to promote his OF. Let the Queen Bee sting.

This game is easy. It's the brain washing and manipulation that Gerd is best at. The best nemesis we could ask for. He has the swede virgin thing really mastered.

And no he doesn't cheat. He spends too much time on this game to cheat. Like actual cheat. He might get insider info or hear things here and there, but he did the time to figure it out. We have screen shots to prove it. To be used against him in future videos.

While we spend minutes a day and break records.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSR-jtuVU1c

I forgot who sent me this gem. But pretty sure this is real.

IKEA MEATBALL VIRGIN SWEDE

Well lucky for me I am not here to entertain you, slugger. Provocative? Ha! Provocative like my poem below.

An ode to holes oh so black - by CNB

I Know Every Argument.
Might Everyone Assume That Blackhole Annoyingly Lacks Laughter.
Vastly Inferior Responses. Great Irritating Noise.
Seriously Wasting Effort. Dying. Exhausted.

It's ok, bhole. You don't get it.......


And you never will.


Aye ohhhhhhhh

Oh man. If we establish the baseline truth, that LaF is full of Swedish virgin IKEA supporters/backers. Then sure, I'll be your evidence Sherlock.

In my defense, I have only wanted to hit the Swedish virgin brigade. If they apologize for IKEA, I will retire and leave this game forever.

We need your stylin' and profilin'!

Indeed. You don't have any to spare, best to interact with your puppet masters and free the rest of us. I've always said, the greatest war leaders have always been the players with little to do otherwise. What do you do for LaF these days?

I also like TC. I even use to like Gerd before his little panties got stuck and frozen up his wawa. He actually trash talked instead of just cried, deeply, in his very lonely basement. I think they are actually the ones who have an issue with us. We got killed by them for like a year. I don't even really remember why, probably something to do with us being better at everything. But man, you'd think Frenchie and I eiffel towered their sisters the way they go out of their way to get at us.

It's been the best part of my game experience for years.

Why do I even bother. I'm playing chess and this guy's playing cricket.

Yes. You nailed it. Good job. Very proud of you.

Killa, I don't often say these types of things. As i dont like to break character. But because you were at least coherent in your response. I'm going to level with you. We actually find all of it a big joke. From the griefing, to the feuds, to the name calling, etc etc. We think it's hilarious that anyone stoops to our level. We think it's hilarious when we are hated. We think it's hilarious if it ruins anyone's day by our antics. We think it's hilarious if we offend even one person.

If you and others haven't realized this by now, then that really is my greatest achievement in this game.

BHole. Maybe I was referencing everyone trolling you? I wasn't, but it hurts you just assumed that. Regardless man. Relax. Do meditation or something. It's the weekend. Go out. Make bad decisions.

I'm headed to go see ツ. He needs me to hold something.

[quote poster=ツ; 52056; 1018350]

Are you free Sunday? I need to send a photo to this chick in Ukraine and I need it to look bigger. [/quote]

Um obviously I'm free. It's offensive you think I'd actually have plans.

Hahahaha. This guy. Doesn't even have anything to do with him and he just comes after it. If you weren't so French, I'd probably be offended.

Hahahaha. Jayr. I literally laughed out loud.

No way man. If I have one more bad experience with a female, I am hopping on that gay train with you. I'll start out small though. Test the waters a bit. I'll smack butts and not say "good game", then i'll will watch a full episode of Queer Eye. Then I'll make the full jump to "Bear" status.

Or I could take it a different way. Really go "anti-gay". Get all fired up and join those rallies. Then kiss men at truck stops in the middle of the night like the rest of them because I am trying to suppress it. And deny always.

"Why were you kissing that man off the 5 last night?"

"I aint no gay. he attacked me. I went there to be alone. So, I could pray and be a good American. Then all of a sudden, he jumped into my truck and threatened me! Said if I didn't kiss him right now, he would go on a rampage and take innocent lives. So, I did it for those people's safety and for 'Merica. I kissed those beautiful lips and stared deeply into those beautiful brown eyes that you could get lost in forever. And as I played with his hair and imagined living the rest of my life with this wonderful man. I said, im not gay but I am a Patriot"

Thank you for the feedback, Mister "Killa". We will make sure to bring this directly to the dev team. We really appreciate such a well thought out response from such a respected member of the community.

Please feel free to file any more complaints directly to our dev team below:

http://crashsafari.com/

As you may notice, we CARE about what you say and think. We want to make sure YOUR experience is top notch, and we will make sure to work on how WE can improve ourselves.

Let us know of any other thoughts you might have via our feedback forum in the link above.

Again, SO great to see such a pillar of the community respond to our video. REALLY appreciate it.

No argument here. I know we are on opposite sides and all. But when you're right, you're right. I tip my hat to you, number 2.

When the 2nd highest nw record holder, addresses the 1st highest nw record holder. Please use sir.

Hello FRIENDS and virgins (so small),

Please feast your eyes on the recent video masterpiece of our dev team here at The BOMB & associates LLC (© The BOMB/Le Bomba/BOMBen/炸彈/BAMka - and not to be distributed by other parties. Litigation will be presented in all cases of misuse)

Link: https://vimeo.com/855818812

I can say, without a single doubt, that this all happened. Not just our take on the events that occurred, but quite literal. Even what you might think is "voice acting" is documented verbatim of all things said and done. As it is written in history.

CREDIT ANNOUNCEMENT - Link - Who has 100% credit for all accurate detailing of events and things said, via the historical and accurate film of the events of set 85 depicted above. We salute you, sir.

Join us for one last MFER to these virgins. They will outlast us. If they can go this long without kissing a girl, they can and will play longer than us. Are they going to win? You might ask yourself this. My response. Define win.

CNB
Proud member of 炸彈
neat
k
thx

What a big pile of fluff. The reason there are a group of people who's only reason to play is to ruin Lafs set is because LaF has historically been giant bags of douche. Tertius is so accurate in the historical events that it's painfully obvious that your main goal here is to just set the narrative. Ignoring truths. Trying to characterize everyone else as the villain. Just because the people who play in LaF believe the lies they are fed, doesn't mean we are going to. You're not convincing anyone.

We, as in the BOMB, really had zero issues with LaF. For the rounds we played, we merely played to bring actual changes to the game. We were actually at war with the devs and mods. Had nothing to do with LaF. It was LaF that brought their grief to us. We were literally hunted down because we saw issues in the current game makeup.

So, my prettier and richer and more successful friend. Eat it. Eat all of it. Eat it with cashmere on. But don't play the victims like no one remembers what was done. I get it. Back LaF. That's respectable. But don't talk about what people should do with their time in this game.

I missed you too, buddy. Welcome back! XoXoXXXOOOxoxoxoxoxo

Wow Doug. Pretty gay of you.

Ha. You're welcome.

Also, good for you. Be free.

TO QZ - I HOPE THIS MESSAGE FINDS YOU WELL.

I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR TRYING. IF NOTHING ELSE.

HOWEVER, I ACTUALLY AM HAPPY FOR YOU. IN FACT, TO QUOTE YOU "life's been busy" IS HOW IT SHOULD BE. CONTINUE TO HAVE IT BE BUSY. WORK ON SOMETHING THAT IS WORTH SAVING. THAT IS APPRECIATED. THAT DOESNT INVOLVE AN OUT DATED GAME THAT GRIEFERS, SWEDISH VIRGINS, AND THE BOMB AND BOMB FRIENDS DONT HOLD ON TO.

IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA FOR A NEW ENTERPRISE THAT DOEANT INVOLVE AN ITERATION FROM A 90'S BBS GAME. LETS CHAT. ID INVEST.

Virgins vs The Good Guys. August 18th.

Choose your side.

As you can see, with our stellar netgaining prowess they are coming in droves. "They only joined because they want to kill everyone who killed SF" you say? Irrelevant. Conjecture. Debatable. Hurtful. Depression. Crying. 100% Asian.

They are now part of THE netgaining alliance that holds the world record. They are steadily making a case for being part of the best warring alliance......post Clan-GDI rule.

Are you sick of being told what to do by virgins? Is your declare war button broke? Do you like having spies, even if they can't harm anyone anymore? Do you care more for the hilarity of the trash talk? Do you enjoy the endless public ridiculing of the opponent? Do you want to play with leadership who the admins ignore? Are you interested in learning how to beat the game, like really easily? Do you want to play with people who have no clear plan and wing it on a daily basis? Do you think IKEA sucks?

If any of these apply to you, let me tell you about a rare opportunity. For just the cost of a DM or two, you too can be a part of making history.

CNB
Never Been The Aggressor
Kissed a girl before
Chants at night in dark places

2 of 3 for sure

I actually think TC is funny. Which is good enough for me. But ya, he plays with virgins. Don't go canceling him now. Not that kind of playing.

But did you guys hear about SoL breaking a pact?

I can save him the reply. Let me see if I can summarize it here.

"Uh nuh uh....we are not POS and we don't get told what to do by virgin swedes. I sweaaaaaar. Anyone buying it? No? Ok. Well SOL is a pact breaker! How about now? Still no? What do you mean we knew about the changes ahead of time? I never knew. I just came back. Oh, you were saying LaF as a whole knew? Ya, but SOL is a pact breaker. And I didn't sign any pacts. Just a guy here no knowing what is going on. Ha ha. I only played 22 sets. Ya, I wasted the time to go and look. What do you mean I am not answering your questions? I already told you. SoL broke the pact. I understand what you are asking. Probably. I only care about the family and my kids love me. TC OUT"